based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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