Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
