Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
