if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
