Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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