I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
