I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
