that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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