the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
