New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
