Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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