That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
