I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
