So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
