You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
