I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
