Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
