i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
