there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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