I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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