Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
