i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
