Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
