I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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