I can text with my tongue
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
