Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
