I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
