we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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