I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
