we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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