I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I bet he comes in French.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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