Are we in a gay sports bar?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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