She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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