well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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