I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
