turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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