It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
