fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
