So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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