Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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