I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
