Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
