i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
