just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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