I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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