What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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