She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
