dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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