fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The power of my boobs compel you
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
