Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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