You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
