What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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