Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
