I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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