guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
